Guide to Serving Food at a Funeral or Memorial Service

The decision to serve food at a funeral is a deeply personal one. Unfortunately, this decision will need to be made at a time when you are in the depths of grief. It can be hard to know what is the right thing to do, particularly when everything feels so pointless and arbitrary.

If your loved one left instructions for how they would like to be remembered, it could make the arrangements a little easier. But don’t be surprised if these instructions focus on things like funeral readings rather than the food to serve at the memorial service.

In general, it’s a good idea to serve some food at the funeral or the memorial service. There are a few reasons for this:

• Grief can make people forgetful, and forgetting to eat is very common. Some cultures make food a central part of the grieving process, and it is encouraged to fuel your body as your brain tackles the bigger questions.

• Food brings people together. The people attending a funeral may not know each other very well, so serving food can help to break down barriers and allow everyone to enjoy a shared experience. It can start conversations and give a focal point that isn’t centered on grief.

• Leftovers can be wrapped up and taken home. You might not want to cook in the days following the funeral, so choosing event catering can keep you stocked up on things like sandwiches and pasta salad. These items are excellent sources of quick carbs, which will keep you fueled up without having to think too hard.

Now that we have discussed the benefits of serving food at a funeral or memorial service, let’s take a moment to look at the practicalities. You’ll want to keep things as simple as possible to help reduce stress on those who are already dealing with so much.

Who should take care of the catering?

Some venues will include catering for all funeral bookings, so it will be included in the price. If you are holding the memorial service in a private home, someone will need to take responsibility for the food provisions. 

There are a few ways you could manage this:

1. Assign the task to a distant family member or friend who is less shaken by the grief. Passing this task to someone outside of the immediate family will help to relieve the burden on those who might also be dealing with complex legal matters.

2. You could also make it a potluck funeral service. Asking everyone to bring a dish helps to make it a more communal effort, which will help everyone to feel like they are offering their support. Just remember to make a note of who left each casserole dish and Tupperware so you can return them to their rightful owners.

In short, the catering should never be left to someone who already has enough on their plate. Assign this to someone who has the time to spare.

Catering ideas for memorial services

Sticking to cold foods is one of the easiest ways to simplify the catering and minimize mess and complications. You might be able to serve hot food if you are hosting in your own home or the home of a family member, but this can make things more complicated, particularly if you aren’t sure when people will arrive.

Sticking to cold food like sandwiches, salads, and pasta dishes can help to simplify the process and allow everyone to arrive at their own pace. Don’t forget to offer things like plates, knives and forks, paper napkins, and cups. 

It’s also a good idea to include a few sweet choices alongside coffee. Keep the coffee flowing and try to avoid serving alcohol, as this can intensify feelings of grief. People might bring their own alcohol, but you can limit consumption by not offering this as part of your own spread.

Don’t forget there may be children attending the funeral, and they will appreciate some child-friendly choices. This could be simplified versions of the food intended for the adults, or it could be special choices that will make them feel included. You could make your own lunchable snack packs or offer cookies and milk to the younger kids.

It will be impossible to cater to everyone’s food preferences and allergies. You might consider serving a vegetarian or vegan option to offer some variety. If you know there are other food restrictions, such as lactose intolerance or gluten intolerance, within your group, you might consider including some choices that they can eat. 

Remember, unless specifically requested, you shouldn’t have to cater to absolutely every food intolerance. Those with food restrictions will be accustomed to having to provide their own food or make do with what is available. 

When to skip the food

There are some situations where you might skip the food entirely. If you don’t have the venue booked for very long, it might be difficult to ensure everyone gets something to eat in time. Instead, arrange a second venue and consider hosting the food there.

If the funeral will only be attended by very close family and a select few friends, you might decide to skip the buffet catering and instead head to a restaurant for a meal. This can be far less complicated and will result in a more intimate gathering. It also gives everyone the freedom to order what they want.

Final thoughts on serving food at a funeral

You don’t have to overthink the situation. Most people aren’t coming to a funeral to enjoy a full meal. They are there to gather with loved ones and say goodbye. The food might help individuals to connect if they don’t know each other, but it certainly won’t be the focus of the event. 

If you find yourself getting stressed about the food, consider handing the task to someone else to take care of. This can relieve the pressure on you and allow you to focus on more important tasks.